Thursday 28th December 2023

Well I really didn't think I'd be continuing with this blog, having switched over to mainly posting the odd video on YouTube about events in my life, but November saw some quite topsy turvy times and I think writing it all down might help me process everything. Before I plough into the main events I'll need to lay a little groundwork to the situation.

In the village where I live, there's an elderly lady (almost 91 years of age now) who several years ago had a house fire which pretty much destroyed her home. Since then she has been living in one of her barns, no, not one of those lovely barn conversions that cost millions, literally a barn. Her bedroom come living room is a small section, maybe two metres by three, with one tiny window and a barn door which doesn't shut properly. In this room is a bed, a little TV, a fridge freezer and a couple of small cupboards which look like they were once part of a fitted kitchen. For heating she has two electric radiators. The walls are covered in some insulating foam which is less than a centimeter thick and doesn't cover everywhere. The electricity (which has gone wrong several times even whilst I've known her) comes into the room via one long cable, connected to which are a couple of further extension leads with sockets. The floor is draped with bits of old carpet, clothing and of course dozens of tiny fallen bits and pieces. I hope you get the idea of something we would call a squalid death trap.

She has several relatives who keep in contact by phone and occasionally visit for a few hours ( by occasionally I mean maybe once or twice a year) bringing with them food to stock the fridge and possibly a new electrical item such as a hob ring.

Her bathroom facilities consist of an outside loo and one cold tap in the garden. She's also a very proud and very stubborn lady. The relatives have asked her many times to go and live with them but she refuses, saying she doesn't want to live with strangers.

I got to know her not long after moving to the village where we made a deal that she would obtain fresh milk from the owner of some cows and in return I'd take her shopping every other week. Mostly I would pretend I needed to go shopping and buy unnecessary items as she would get very upset if she thought I was only going to town for her benefit.

Luckily I soon got to know the shops she liked to go to and the things she was likely to need as she never makes a list and on our early trips we'd end up going round town several times to get items she kept remembering. (My personal shopping trips are carried out with military precision complete with full list and a specific route based on the order the shops come in!)

Sometimes, between shopping trips, she'd come down to ask me to read something for her, or help make a phonecall, and it took a while but I eventually managed to persuade her off my doorstep and into the house or at least onto the patio for a chat now and then. She loves to talk but would never come in because she didn't want to disturb me ( though she'd happily stand on the doorstep talking for an hour!). For some reason she fell out with a lot of her immediate neighbours over the past year so her 90th birthday was celebrated with just the two of us in my kitchen over dinner I made for her.

I could probably rabbit on for several pages about her, and don't get the idea it was always a happy friendship. Many's the time she'd really wind me up over silly things like insisting on squeezing round the back of my car when it was parked on the drive as it was bad luck to walk in front of it. Never mind the fact she'd just walked in front of it to get to my front door. Or her habit of eating something in the car and promptly dropping bits everywhere. One time I was still finding puffy crisps under the seats months later after she spilled an entire bag. Then again I'm not the most patient of people so it doesn't take much to irritate me. Luckily she could never understand what I was muttering under my breath!

So, let's fast forward now to the end of November.

Friday night the first proper snow of the year began, at first just light sleetiness, but as evening fell the temperature dropped and the snow began to settle and build. It continued through the night and all Saturday, so, unsurprisingly, late that evening the electricity went off. By Sunday morning the snow was well over half a meter deep, in fact up to my thighs in places, and still falling. That's when it became clear the electricity wouldn't be restored very quickly. It's not too much of an issue for me. I have wood burning stoves for heating and cooking, and a generator for backup power (admittedly mostly used to recharge my mobile phone), but for the old lady (from here on I'll refer to her as D) her entire world depends on electricity.

I made up a flask of hot water and headed off to see her. Unfortunately she always keeps the front gate locked, so the only way in is through the garden from the lower road. It was a long slow slog through very deep snow, but eventually I got up to her barn and went in to find her sitting on her bed with a single blanket over her.

As always she claimed to be fine, but I was cold even with a big thick winter coat on. I made her a hot tea at which point a woman from the house over the road came in. She stays at the house there caring for the owner, an old lady who is more or less blind and not very mobile. The two old ladies used to be friends but had a big falling out earlier this year with D accusing the other woman of trying to interfere in her life and making negative remarks about D's family (i.e. their lack of visits and support).

Well it took a good half an hour but eventually D was persuaded to go with the carer to spend the night in warmth with her ex friend, though she was adamant it would only be for one night.

The next day the electricity was still off, so I popped up to see how things were going. Just before I headed off, the granddaughter phoned from Sofia, asking me to let D know that her nephew was coming to collect her to take her to stay in Sofia. I duly went and delivered this message at which point it all kicked off! D refused to even entertain the idea of going to Sofia and said she was going back to her place. We literally blocked her from getting out from behind the table she was seated at as the two Bulgarian women tried to explain the impossibility of her situation. The electricity could be off all week, temperatures were going to be well below zero overnight, she had no means of cooking... It seemed like we were going nowhere, and D was becoming more and more stressed and tearful. Eventually her ex friend had had enough of the arguing and kind of said do what you like then and walked away to go and make a cuppa.

I doubt if D was thinking clearly at this point but she said she was worried about whether her things were okay, having left her house (barn) unoccupied over night, so I agreed to walk her back to her place on condition she come back to her ex friend's after where it was warm.

We went back down to her place and whilst I gave some biscuits and bread to her animals, she pottered about indoors, calming down. Despite the sun it was really cold, my feet especially were freezing as I'd got snow in my wellies from walking through the deep snow, so imagine my horror when she said she'd be fine in her own place and people should stop fussing. What would you do if it was your mother? I asked. Would you just say, okay you stay here with no heating? She went a bit quiet but still wouldn't come with me back to the other house. Well two can play at the stubborn game I thought, and sat on the old settee on the patio. What are you doing? Asked D. I explained that I couldn't leave her so I'd just have to stay here on the sofa even though I was so cold. Guilt, guilt! Well it worked. She agreed to come back up to the other house, and after collecting a spare pair of knickers and her handbag, we made our way back up to the warmth.

D settled back in with the other ladies and after warming up by the fire I headed back home. Later that afternoon the nephew arrived, asking for directions to the house Aunty D was in. I wished him lots of luck, explaining how adamant D was that she was staying put, but he shrugged and grinned saying she didn't have a choice. Sure enough, an hour later, he phoned to say D was in the car and they were en route to Sofia. Phew!

She phoned me after a couple of days telling me how warm and clean everything was at her granddaughter's, and describing with great wonderment the little round vacuum cleaner that cleans all by itself. She was anxious about her animals but I told her not to worry as I would feed them and make sure they were sheltered. The granddaughter told me to empty the fridge freezer and give any food to the animals, so the next time I went up I went in to clear out the food. After being off for a few days the fridge smelt absolutely rank and I literally had to dash outside to breathe some fresh air, it was awful! Most of the fridge contents went straight in a bin bag and got thrown, but there were several packages of meat in the freezer that were still okay, so I portioned those out to the dogs and cats over a few days.

D still phones every couple of days and always begins by saying I'm coming home tomorrow, to which I say no, it's really cold still, wait till spring, and she laughs. In fact, the first time she phoned she was serious about coming back because she needed to pay her bills and draw her pension out. Poor thing thought she could only do that in Gabrovo. Don't worry D, I said, they've got banks in Sofia exactly like here. She always asks about the 'children' (animals), so I reassure her that they're eating well and keeping cosy. (I've left the door to her bedroom ajar mainly so the cats can get in and stop mice becoming a problem, but just outside of this room is another couple of armchairs covered in rugs, and when it's cold all the dogs and cats sleep there together, so I know they're fine).

I go up every other day and put down several big bowls of dog biscuits and top up the water for them. I also sent some photos via the nephew's WhatsApp, which D was really pleased about.

So, she's cosy at least for winter, and hopefully not too lonely as she seems to just sit in the apartment by herself as the granddaughter is out at work in the day. What happens in spring remains to be seen and I've got mixed feelings as I want her to be safe but at the same time I miss her. There's also the long term issue of rehoming the animals if she never comes back but I'll worry about that later, and of course I'll let you know of developments.