Saturday 20th July 2019

I've never been a very patient person. When I want something I kind of want it yesterday, signed, sealed, delivered, done, so the current wait for a fairly major decision has me champing at the bit and trying very hard not to get too bogged down in what ifs. The decision? Well, it's whether someone will accept my offer on their property or not. Yes, I'm on the move.

It's something I've been thinking about for a couple of years now, and back in spring I finally decided that if I don't take action now, time will just slip by and one day I'll wake up to find it's too late and I'll be left with a bucketful of regrets. Regular followers of my blog will know that I'm quite the shy introverted person who finds social interaction in large gatherings really, really difficult. And as time goes on I've found myself in a rather negative catch-22 situation: If I'm not involved in things then I feel incredibly left out and lonely. If I get involved then I become crushingly tongue tied, unable to think of things to chat about, and come away deeply saddened by my inability to slot in and utterly exhausted by the effort. Madness I know, but seemingly impossible to do anything about. One thing which has helped to some degree is staying away from Facebook so I don't see the endless 'thank you, so-and-so, for the fantastic night/day/holiday, bla bla bla' and don't get hit again by the black cloud of 'everyone's got a million friends and is wanted except you'.

It's not that I don't enjoy being around people, far from it. But my thing is small gatherings with a purpose: a meal with a few friends, a day out to visit somewhere, a walk together. Things where the conversation seems to flow more naturally, where the noise level isn't such that you compete to be heard or even find a slot to say something, and where it's all just a zillion times more relaxing. So, back to the plan... if, I thought, I'm not actually in the village any more, I won't be aware at all of the social lives of others and will finally stop feeling so inadequate and can focus on just joining in with things I want to without appearing like a standoffish snob (hopefully!) Radical action I know, but hey it's what I do. Some people comfort eat, others buy a new outfit, I buy houses. The last time I bought a house (back in 2005) was as a result of walking away from a career in teaching because it had made me so miserable.

I hadn't actually planned on putting mine up for sale until early next year, but events conspired and I suddenly found myself with buyers happy to pay a good amount and so felt it would be silly to refuse. Luckily they were happy to give me until the end of September to find somewhere.

I have quite a long wish list for a potential new home: more land for veggies and the dogs, a bigger house so I can have a dedicated craft room, a kitchen I can sit in (or at least a dining area), nice views (though not essential), proper inside stairs (I hate my spiral stairs as they're impossible to carry anything up without ricocheting into the wall or risking a broken leg), south facing, and somewhere between Gabrovo and Gostilitsa so I can still get back to see friends easily. From the abundance of properties advertised you'd think it would be quite simple to find somewhere suitable, but it's actually proven quite difficult. Here are just a few of the seen and rejected ones:

This one is in Debel Dyal. Stunning views but the roads into the village are very narrow and full of potholes suggesting the place isn't particularly cared for and would be pretty difficult to leave in winter.

Nice village, plenty of land, but as you can see from the photo, this one is completely overlooked by the neighbouring house. Plus one of the rooms had what looked like a green carpet that turned out to be a layer of mould - slight issues with damp!

Very cute little house but at the top of an incredibly steep dirt track. Not even a 4x4 would have made it in the snow, let alone my little Fiesta.

Really pretty house, already renovated, lots of traditional features, but as soon as I got out of the car there was the constant noise from the main road down the hillside.

Lots of land, lots of property, nice village, but the weirdest layout. The car and all the barns for storage, winter wood etc was on one side of the property, the entrance to the house itself was right round the other side meaning a good long treck around the house and the back of the barns to bring in a few logs to light the fire. Plus there were no inside stairs at all.

This house was a very strong contender. In a beautiful location, decent sized garden, already mostly renovated, separate apartment building. Fortunately on the second viewing the neighbour was at home who informed us that the shed in the photo (which is the only outbuilding and therefore where the wood would have gone) was actually built without permission on his land. Grrrr....

And so it's come down to this one. Great location, lots of land, lots of building, needs a ton of work but is doable. The place hasn't been lived in for 10 years since the owner's mother vacated it to go and live with him in Sofia, so it's full to the gills with old clothes, furniture, pots and pans etc. The owner had a couple of conditions. Firstly, his mum would like to still come and visit the grave at the bottom of the orchard. Yes, it appears the grandparents are down there. No problem, I said, since it's on the edge of the property we can soon fence it off and put a little gate in from the street side. The other thing was he wanted time to sort through all his belongings in case there should be some items of value he could sell, unlss of course I would like to pay a little extra to keep all the goodies. Look at them!

No thanks!

So, after a second viewing last Monday I put in an offer of a slightly lower than asking price, plus allowing him 6 weeks after completion to take what he wants. Well, he initially came back complaining that 6 weeks wouldn't be enough time, though he's due to give a definite answer this Monday. I suspect he actually wants me to pay for the junk, and is hoping the delay tactics will force my hand. To be honest, if the extra price isn't crazy then I'll do it just to speed up the process, but I've said to the estate agent that if the owner is just being dithery and stringing along a neverending list of demands then I'll just leave it. So, still another couple of days to see what the outcome is. I'm trying really hard to just get on with packing and not get carried away with daydreams of what I can do with the place just in case it comes to nothing, but at the same time I can't help but hope it's going to be mine!